DO OVER

Day 6....Not anymore.  We are back to Day one.  I will not feel guilt.  I will not dwell after this.  I will move on.  Over the weekend I ate horribly.  I have the habit of eating emotionally.  I have a food addiction.  I realize this.  I have been dealing with "stuff"  I don't deal well with the stuff because it is out of my control.  I like to be in control of everything.  there are things I need and want and when they don't go the way I want I do what I can control and that is what I put in my mouth,.  It is like I want to take revenge on what I can't control and say "take that. look what I can do." This obviously backfires with weight gain, not losing, feeling physically not right, and finally emotionally a wreck which then repeats the vicious cycle.  So I start over now that I recognize this revelation that I have always known but could never admit, until now.   So I start fresh.  I work on me.  I forget what I can't control and choose to make healthy choices I can control.  I take control of healing myself.  I take control of food not satisfying me but relying on the one who can.  the one who created me.  The one who breathed life into me and holds me in his hands to mold me into what he wants me to be.  I stay on the wheel and don't jump off.

I also ran 2.5 miles and smiled.

day 3-RAW

So it is day three of mostly Raw.  My dinners are the only thing at the moment. not.  My husband jokes.  "Why are you not eating your shrimp Raw? tonight kids, Mommy is eating her meatloaf Raw."  Yeah, well, I do what can with what I have for now.  I must say eating shrimp Alfredo after two days of eating Raw made my brain and tummy not so happy.  I was nauseous, felt bloated, and got a ginormous head ache. this convinces me all the more that I want to do this completely by the end of thirty days.  I have more energy.  I am slightly cranky detoxing but that too shall pass.  I made these chocolate chip cookies.  pure awesome yumminess. The kids love them.  My husband even pondered eating them.  I might have to hide them.  Here is something I pondered yesterday.  where on earth will I get my sodium?  So I looked it up and found I will need to get an iodine supplement.  Not too worried about it until after I am completely Raw but I will do it.  Also B-12, but I already do that.   I also was concerned with Charlotte not getting enough iron.  She is not a big meat eater herself.  I figured out a way.  I make myself green smoothies every morning. Raw spinach with fruit mixed together with coconut milk.  It tastes yummy.  Charlotte loves them as much as me.  Problem solved.

I am also back to running.  I took three weeks off.  the first week I stopped, I had two extra kids.  It just was not happening.  the last two weeks i forgot my running shoes. (I guess I should have taken up barefoot running)  So I am slowly building back up to three miles.  Currently I am running every other day for two miles each day.  I pretend Bob from Biggest Loser is pushing me.  It just makes it easier.

30 days to Raw Eating

Oh a new challenge!!!  I am taking the plunge.  I am going to be going Raw.  If you are unaware this means no cooked foods above 150 degrees.  This means no meat.  For those of you reading this wondering where I will get my iron, trust me there are plenty of veggies that contain Iron.  I am tired of my sugar addiction.  I am tired of staying at the same weight for well over a year.  17 months to be exact.  I just want to be healthy, have lots of energy, and not get sugar highs and drops that make me look like a crazy person with my emotions.  So the more I read on eating this way, the more I have come to the conclusion this is the way I want to eat.  I am getting into this slowly over the next month.  There are a few key items I need to get and need to use to make this happen

1.  A juicer.  I don't have one.  I need one to juice my veggies.   There are some veggies I detest but when juiced with some apples I can pretend I am not actually eating them.  One is raw carrots.  I can shred them on my salad and eat them.  I just can not have big chunks of them.  I am pretty sure if I juice them with an apple I can deal with them

2. Dehydrator:  I have one.  It is a good one to make "cooked foods" so to speak.  I also adore dried fruits.

3. coffee grinder: well I honestly can't remember why I need this but I read that I do for something other than coffee.

4. Raw Honey.  no, I am not going to go to a beehive and get my own.  I will go to the health food store.  This is what I will use to sweeten if necessary

5. sprouting:  there are things that I will sprout.  so I will need sprouting bags or a mason jar.

I also plan to grow some of my own veggies next year.  I had a home grown tomato today and I about died from happiness.  Best tomato I have ever tasted.


Some people eat grains.  I am not for now.  I don't expect anybody else in my family to do this I am cooking  for them.  Being I am not eating it I figure money wise it will balance because I will spend less on making dinner and use that money to feed me.  However, I am not buying chips, cookies, or anything that comes in a box for snacks so already that saves $$$$.   If they want a cookie than they better look at God's cookies and eat a crunchy apple.  (I do have a great recipe for chocolate chip raw cookies that I will hoard because they are that delicious.)

One of my resources is Hallelujah Acres.  So my plan is to be 95% Raw by mid  August.  I mean, give up coffee?  I am not sure if I am willing to do that.

NEw challenge

So I am still running but seriously how long do you people want to read about me running before you get bored and quit running.  i still have not done a week yet where i have ran 5 days so when  I do that for 4 weeks in a row I will move on to the 2nd phase of training.  However, I digress...

My new challenge is  "eating what God made mostly."  I say mostly because there are certain things I just wont quit.

Basically here it is:  Lots of fruits and vegetables
 meat and eggs.
herbs
I am still trying to stay away from cow dairy....I feel better when I do

I will stay away form most things that are processed.  if I read a label and don't know what the word is because it is monopolyglutosacca something, i wont eat it. except in some cases.  There will be things I make for dinner that have ingredients I use that come from a can or a box.  I will try to avoid as much as possible but there will be occasions it is unavoidable.  

I will continue to eat tortilla chip.  possibly make my own but tortillas have added ingredients,I think.  I would have to look at the label in detail.  so does my gluten free bread.  I will still eat that.

My coffee creamer.  Yes I can make my own but it is not the same and this is the only place I will indulge.

I have a once a week date with my husband and we go out for an ice cream date.  We have discovered Coldstone Creamery.  It is pure aweseomeness and once a week is something I will just do for some connecting time with the hubby.  Red Velvet ice cream is just heavenly.  I am pretty sure that when I get there I will be greeted and welcomed in with a bowl of that from St. Peter.

SO yes I will have recipes to go along with this.  Also interesting links on preservatives and  by the time I am done I may not even need my creamer.  I will still have red velvet ice cream though..

still truckin....

on a side note,  where did that phrase just truckin come from?  but I digress.  So I am still running, however I am not as fast as I thought I was.  I was using my Itouch with the runkeeper app.  Well this is fine provided I get a continuous GPS signal.  this only happens when it picks up WIFI hot-spots.  so if there is not one I lose signal and it does not map correctly.  (While in FL I ran a route that lost GPS signal for a good amount of time and when it did pick up by the end of my run it said I ran 5 miles in 30 min and had a 6 min mile average...I WISH.)   It is close, but not exactly accurate on my route.  My type A personality needs it to be exact and perfect so I used that as an excuse to get a brand new nifty android phone.  so here is what I actually am running   3miles in 31 min.  my average pace is 11 min per mile but that is including my warm up and cool down. Still pretty awesome if you ask me.  So I` have decided to start fresh with the pretrain schedule since I am actually running 3 miles now.  I will be doing thi for the next five weeks.  MY goal in the next five weeks is to shorten the time I run 3 miles.  I would like it done in less than 30 min and I think that is pretty achievable.

staying steady....

I am consistent with running.  I am on my third week of running 5 days a week.  MY schedule is 3 miles Mon-Wed., Thu off, Fri-2 miles, Sat 3 miles, Sun off.   I feel great and look forward to every single run.  I run 3 miles in about 27-28 minutes.  My legs are getting used to this and I am developing mild shin splints to I am now treating every day after running with ice.  They are not extremely painful but annoying.  I am going to invest in some new running shoes soon, which should help.  this schedule will continue for two more weeks and then we move on to the 5k training schedule where there will be days I run 4 miles.....It is starting to not look impossible but something I will look forward to.  I will look forward to every couple months finding a 5k race to run in  :)

running challenge

So the challenge continues with some tweeks.  this week I started the pre training to training for a 5k.  I want to run a 5k in less than 30 min.  Ultimately about 24 minutes.  I aim high,  I also am determined and bull headed and do what I set my mind to do.  So for the next four weeks I will be running 5 days a week.  After that starts the 5k training.  I absolutely adore running.  I use it to de-stress.  There is a euphoric feeling that comes with running that only runners understand.   I like that feeling.  I used to attempt that feeling many years ago with drugs and alcohol except with running my mind is clear.  I now get why people run marathons.  I also like to beat my times I run.  Today I averaged 8:40 per mile.   Best time ever.  So I was able to run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes.  Something I never thought I could ever do.  Something I announced to a lot of people during church that I wanted to run 3 miles in less than 30 minutes by the end of 2012.  Well I have changed that goal.  I am now setting a goal to run a half marathon by February of 2013.  I plan to run the princess 1/2 marathon at Disney.  So I will train up to it in small goals.  Plus I have to make sure that the older two are mature enough to stay in the house to babysit because running a half marathon will take two hours when I get to that point.

Day 30

I cant believe it is already day 30.   I also can't believe the slacker in blogging I have become.  I also did not do as well as I would have liked.  However, i don't dwell and I continue forward.  When I weighed myself a coupld days ago I was 169.4.  So this journey will continue.  For now this blog with be my weight loss journal and tracking my running progress.  I am on track to start the pre 5k training.  well sort of I missed yesterday but that was for circumstances beyond my control.  Not an excuse.  Legitimate reasoning of places I had to be yesterday.  So I will run today.  :)    3 miles.  I will continue to count calories while I am on vacation.  I will even run on the beach.  that will be my ultimate joy.

Yes I will get a picture on here later :)

day 23

It has been a few days but I have good reasons.  Over the weekend we took an unexpected mini vacation for a marriage retreat to Hilton Head, SC.  Courtesy of the Army.  Very nice hotel, food included, and  childcare included.  It was fabulous.  I also have had two sick children.  They are better now.  i did cheat over the weekend but not in excess so I did not gain but I did not lose either but we shall see by the end of this week where I am at.  I am still running every other day about 3.5 miles.  Next week I am going to start a pre training program for a 5k.  Once I am done with that I will move on to training for one.  I will then enter some 5k races locally.  Then I will start training for a 10k.    All the while the scale will continue to go down and will be more tolerable to run while not carrying the weight of a small child.

Day 17

No pictures this week.  no real weight loss.  There was cheating this week that I have paid for with no difference on the scale.  Next week however will be a different story.  I am pumped after my run yesterday.  I am doing ab workouts which will also make a difference within the next few months.  My abs do not like me at the moment but the more I do it the stronger I get.  I am only doing it three days a week for now since I pretty much have not done ab work in about 12 years.  This gives my body the recovery time it needs to strengthen those muscles.  It also lets me be able to move and function it without being painfully sore.  I am sore but it is just irritating.  I did take a picture of my stomach but I am not posting that until after the work is done.  probably about 4-6 months.  So day 22 will have a new picture because that will be the start of week 3 and I am confident that it will be 2 pounds less than the last picture taken.

day 16

so the past two days I have been semi depressed.  the scale hates me and I wanted to throw it out the window.  I decided chocolate was necessary which then made me even more mad that I indulged but then this happens

ignore current pace look at the upper right corner.  this is after a 5 min cool down

I actually ran 3 miles in 30 minutes!!!!  I am ecstatic.  I don't even know I could do this or could run that fast.  I also while running was averaging 9 miles in 10 minutes.  GO ME!!!  I may just may start training for a 10k soon.   Oh the happiness I feel at the moment.  I am giddy.  

day`14

Super Bowl Sunday equaled for me eating everything I should not have and now pay for it today.  lesson learned.  Move on.  I gained about 5 pounds of water weight and just feel blah today.  However, I like that yesterday can stay where it is and each day starts new.  Starts with back to healthy choices, lots of water to flush everything out and a 30 minute run.  2.2 miles in 30 minutes.  I love the feeling while running when you get those bursts of extra energy and feel like you can continue running longer than 30 minutes but I don't want to hurt myself either.  That is what I love about running most of all.  I love the way it makes me feel.  I love the energy it gives me.  I love that it makes me accomplish things I never thought I could.  so this week I continue running for 30 minutes each run and then next week starts increasing speed training.  I also am starting abs training and arms this week.  I am over the flabby arms and will enjoy a flatter stomach in the process.  A six pack would be nice but that wont happen for a few months.  You have to have a certain body fat percentage to see that and I will not be there for a few months which is OK and in the meantime I will just strengthen for it.  I made this and it was a hit and I will make it again.  It is healthy as well and super duper tasty.  Even the husband loved it

grilled corn and avocado salad 

day 12

nothing exciting.  I ran.  1.7 miles in 25 minutes.  I am pleased.  I also while running had an epiphany and  realized running with an extra pounds of weight is like running with a toddler strapped to my body.  So I have decided to not be so hard on myself about the distance I run while I have this extra weight on.  It is what it is for the moment.  So I will continue to run.  I will continue to strive to run faster.  I will no longer beat myself up as to the speed I run.

I will now go make my grilled roasted red pepper mushroom goat cheese sandwich and have a salad.  It is so yummy.  after I finish cooling off.  Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday.  There will be wings and good foods to enjoy and I can still stay on track.  I am going to indulge a bit.  I am going to aim for a deficit of 500 calories tomorrow.  There are too many good tummy foods to eat.

day 11

Some things get me excited.  such as when I discover with my calorie counter that my lifestyle was sent to sedentary and 1300 calories a day.  THAT was completely way off.  I reset it to very active and 1700 calories.  Needless to say my deficit has changed from 300-500 per day to 800-1000 per day which is my goal and makes more sense.  If I want to lose 2 pounds a week then I need a deficit of 1000 per day.  3500 calories= 1 pound.  however if I lose two pounds a week with an 800 deficit on some days then I will just keep doing it until I plateau.

I have also discovered fartleks.  sounds the way it is spelled.  It is bursts of increased speeds at intervals.  I was able to get close to two miles in 25 minutes yesterday.  I will see if I can do them a little longer tomorrow.  I would like to be able to run two miles in 25 min by the end of next week.  eventually I want to get to a 10 minute mile.  It will happen...just got train the body to do so.    I do like the fartleks.  However I may say not so much when I do them for longer time frames.

There are more frozen bananas to eat,  this time they have coconut on them

day 9

I have a new love.  frozen bananas.  especially when they are topped with peanut butter and chocolate.  I would totally be OK if ice cream became non existent with this new found love.  This is coming from the person who hates eating a regular banana.  It is the texture not the taste.  I love the taste but I just can't stand the texture of a regular banana.  I am making more of these tomorrow except they will have coconut on them.  here are the recipes.

chocolate bananas with coconut or peanut butter chocolate bananas

You don't need vegan chocolate chips but I am staying dairy free as much as possible and they are way more expensive and taste just as yummy.  

We also had lazy lasagna chili  and salad for dinner.  Delicious!!  the husband liked it as well which is the most important thing when making dinner because I know if I can make it again.  Filling and only 284 calories per serving.

Now for the weekly progress picture  :  total loss for the week 2 pounds.  My goal is another 2-3 this week.

week 2  170

Please excuse the lack of makeup and hair undone.  that is the main reason a picture was not taken for two days because I just could not get the time to get that done for picture taking worthiness.  You just will have to deal with the me that is just me.  I will wear the same outfit until it becomes too big to wear.  Until tomorrow...I will have the Sleepytime tea

Day 8- honesty Time

Ok so apparently I don't know how many days are in a week and today would be the start of week 2 not yesterday.  I have lost 2 pounds total.  maybe more.  the picture I started with was me at 170.  but here is my list of being honest.

I started this 30 day challenge at 172. so I am back to where I was with the picture posted seven days ago

I have failed miserably in counting calories.  no excuses, I just did not do it

Today I ate horrible.  I did not give myself time to eat.  I made the major grocery shopping trip and my breakfast/lunch was a bag of kettle cooked chips.  Then I did not eat until dinner.  It happens.

I need to drink more water.  No excuses there either, I just haven't.

My reasons for being honest are so people reading this can be encouraged that sometimes people mess up but to be encouraged to not give up. I desire to inspire and encourage others. Tomorrow starts a new day with a fridge full of good healthy choices and new recipes to try.  I have a roasted red pepper just waiting for me to put on my sandwich with some mushrooms and goat cheese melted to perfection for lunch.  Roasted red peppers are oh so tasty.  I also have bananas waiting to be topped with peanut butter and then dipped in my melted vegan chocolate chips to be frozen to perfection and ate without one bit of guilt.  There is also coconut milk ice cream waiting as well.

Yay to new mercies and new days.  I also ran today and ran faster than I did on Sunday.  picture tomorrow  I promise.  For now sleepytime tea  :)

Day 6

Today I start running for 25 minutes.  It is a good thing I love running.   We ll i should say jogging.  I run slow but I run.  Yesterday i did not track calories.  I have a pretty good handle on portions and such so it was no biggie but today I will be back on track with that.  I have menus planned for the next two weeks for dinner and will be sharing those.  Also tomorrow is the weekly picture update.  Some things I make this week will be for the family and some things I will change around for me for a healthier less calorie option that will still be yummy.  Today of course is Sunday...this means chicken wings  :)

Day 5

The scale once again is my friend.  I ran 3 times this week.  I am slowly building myself up to running for thirty minutes.  This week I ran for 20 min.  I always do 5 min warm-up and cool down walk.  Tomorrow I will start running every other day for 25 min and then the week after I will run every other day for 30 min.    After that I will work on building up running faster.  MY ultimate goal is to run a 5k in 30 min.  When I get back to running for 30 min I will most likely be running 2 miles in 30 min.   These are the goals I have.  I will also be making sure that I have a deficit of 300 calories at the end of every day starting tomorrow.  This week on the day I did not run I did Zumba and Yoga.  That Yoga made muscles work I never knew I had.  MY arms hurt.  But in a good way.  I really like Denise Austin, even when he voice annoys me. This is what I use :

It works and feels good. That is all that matters.

Day 4

Pressing on.  This is when it gets hard.  This is when the sugar cravings kick in and I would love to eat big bowls of ice cream, hundreds of oreos, and big fat juicy cheeseburgers with french fries throughout the weekend and say "Monday I will start over." But I won't  However, I can indulge a little.  I still breastfeed.  it has advantages.  One of them being having to make sure I eat 300-500 calories than normal to maintain milk supply.  Because breastfeeding burns 300-500 calories.  Seriously.  motivation enough to keep doing it when it becomes difficult.  but I digress  SO here is a picture of me :

192 pounds

Well I should say that used to be me.  I don't even know that person anymore.  I am so different than I was almost three years ago.  That person in that picture had issues never dealt with.  That person had a food addiction.  That person was looking for satisfaction everywhere else but the one place that it can only be given.  Jesus.  That person had addiction issues that just kept switching areas.  It was not until counseling that this was realized.  I finally came to the realization instead of putting on what I needed to which is the bible and satisfaction in Him alone that I was doing it with food. You don't even realize how big you are until you see pictures.  For me the mirror just made me think I am not that heavy.Back in my early 20's I was much thinner.  I was a size 5/6.  than I gave my life to Jesus and felt convicted to quit doing some things.  Well I was putting off good things but then added food.  Chocolate tall cakes and quitting smoking will cause problems. SO I gained.  I rationalized every time I went up a dress size.  Before I knew it  I was a size 14.  Then got pregnant with my first gained the thirty pounds you are supposed to and never lost it.  I stayed a size 16 for years. So this picture started that journey.  It is when I look at pictures I realize how big I was.  the mirror fooled me and I always thought I am not that big.  pictures don't lie people. Of course there were stops along the way.  A pregnancy halted further progress but when I did get pregnant I had lost about 15 pounds so I was on track.  Then I restarted 6 weeks after Charlotte was born.  There have been stops along the way but mostly out of laziness on my part and going  back to old habits.  gaining five pounds would put me back on track but then I would go back.  This is why for the past 7 months I have been stuck at 170.  I no longer have excuses.  I have to work at it.  I always will.  even when I hit my goal, it will be work to stay there but like anything else it will be worth it and at that point I will be able to eat without counting calories because the portion servings will be so in grained in my head I will just know.  Just like with eating gluten free.  I just know 99% of the time what to eat.  For me this journey is not about being skinny, being a size 5, or being obsessed with a being a certain weight.  It is about being healthy.  For me that is what is most important.  All the other things just mentioned will happen because of that choice.

DAy 3

On track.  The good thing with my calorie counter app is it tells me what areas of food I need to eat more and less of.  I have not been eating enough vitamin c.  SO I fixed that this morning with a banana orange smoothie.  YUM YUM. Here is how I made it:

1 banana
1 orange
1 cup of vanilla almond milk
ice

I am starting to feel better, again.  I do this every time I start to eat better.  I feel good then I go somewhere like a party or something and have something I shouldn't and I lose my senses.  I am not saying cheating is bad.  Just when you are like me, it gets out of control and it goes back to old habits.  I don't want to do that.   I think I just need to realize that  just because I indulge a little does not mean I go back to eating everyday the way I was.  I will most likely bog about my testimony tomorrow.  The struggles I have had and why I am on this journey now to get to a healthier weight.

Day 2

There are two loves I can think of at the moment.  pumpkin and technology.  I have a great calorie counter on my Itouch.  No looking up  how many calories in each food.  no wheel to turn to see how many calories.  No book to flip through.  Yup, I am that old.  It is easy peasy.  I look up the food and hit "add to log" and bam calorie counting done.  I am trying to get a deficit of 300-500 calories per week.  this way I will lost 2 pounds a week.  Not only is this safer and makes weight loss more effective but I am breast feeding and if you lose more than that breast milk can become toxic to the baby.  Yup, I did not know that either.  Let me just day that just because one breast feeds does not mean they will lose the weight faster.  I don't fall into any typical category for anything so that does not apply to me/.  So if you are reading this and wondering if you are the only person on the planet who breast feeds and does not lose the weight.  you are not alone.  I also do not lose it once I quit either.  I have to work at it.

My other love is pumpkin.  Pumpkin creamer, pumpkin pie, pumpkin pancakes, and the smell of pumpkin candles.  I have discovered putting pumpkin in my oatmeal.  OH MY WORD!!  yumminess.  It is also good for you.  A little cinnamon and honey.  Good to go.   Which by the way I use honey to use for sweetener.  it may have more calories but it is "God made" so way better than the refined or what I like to call "cancer in a packet".

Today brings Zumba.  I will yell at the TV because it has been months since I have done it.

New Challenge

Today starts a new challenge.   For thirty days I will exercise and count calories every day.  I have an ultimate goal to lose 40 pounds.  There is only one way that this can be done.  eat less and exercise.  I am at a standstill. I am not gaining but I am not losing so I need to change things.  So I will daily count calories to make sure I can male sure I don't eat too much.  I will run every other day.  The days I don't run, I will Zumba or yoga.  I have a great video game for Zumba that I adore.  I have the yoga body burn by Denise Austin that I also love.  If I get bored I found out that Netflix has some exercise programs on it.  Losing weight I am hoping will help with the muscle spasm I have been dealing with for twelve plus years.  So this challenge blog this month will not be very interesting.  It may be boring on some days but I will post pictures and links as to my progress.  I will post links to things I eat and things I do for exercise.  Here is me day 1.  I will post a weekly picture

me at 170